While I rub the sleep from my eyes I think of Alissa and a smile hits my face.
I look at my suroundings and I see the past it makes my heart heavy with woe. Each day I wonder about the past,
I heard that we should move on but the question that follows is will the past always haunt me for days so i've dwelled about the past and look inwards for the answer but all that happens is another day passes so again I look and ask when does the past leave the present? Then I think well maybe the answer isn't in the past and thats why It's the wrong place to look But.........
where do I find the answer to my Question?
Love,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful first post.
Inside yourself. When you are ready and can deal with it, you can release it back to the past. It will never be completely gone, but you can at least come to terms with the past, let it be and have it let you be. And often doing that, facing your past and dealing with it, resolving it somehow, isn't easy.
But...... please keep in mind that I will be on the journey with you, to help where I can, to hold you when you are frightened, and to show you how loved you are. Perhaps that will make it a little more bearable.
All my love forever,
-A
*smiles* I wake up still eyes are closedi see my lovely Ali's face as sleep slips away isee im still trapedso far away but her love shines bright as ever, The distance is hard enough to cope with but the waits a killer the stress is gone past the clouds on high stress limits i am alone but loved i am hurting and so far from my baby arms, the phone rings Is it Ali!! , no some cluts wanting me to buya cruz e insurance for the trip i one to alsaka as if!! blasted cons, i hate them and why heck do they call at 6 am? only lovers should be allowed to pester there love ones at that this God alfull hr Right Ali!! Snickers I know shes going to get me back some how..... Cant wait !squeels with laughter. If that bears on bed too!! ill knock it in the nose the elfs bad enough!! and its days are numbered beening in our bed Ali!! love and kisses im in my silly mood. All my love darlin Have a great day love XXXXXXXXOOOOXXXX
ReplyDeletelove your Meg's
*smiles* 6AM! The phone rings and I know it can only be one person...I think I said "Why are you calling so early!!! ON A SATURDAY!" Well, not that loud I guess. I then chuckled and lay back in the bed. Curling up with the teddy I listened to Megan's giggling. She was so happy....I smiled..and I was so tired. Gods love......shakes head.....love you. You are insane sometimes but I love you...maybe that's why I love you.
ReplyDeleteIt's always a surprise...I think back a year a go and I had no idea that I'd be in the space I am now, physically or mentally. And it's a good space.
The connection dropped out finally...I looked at the phone, then the clock....then the bed....the bed won. I turned off the phone and woke up at 3 pm. Ok, 2 voicemails, between accounts 8 emails checking if I was ok, a couple of blog posts, and 2 facebook messages,,,,,,I just needed some sleep!
Giggles and laughs.
I do love you Megan...you are so fun and wonderful. I know this isn't what you expected.....but I'm glad it's what we want.
63.
Love Alissia
Another week passes and my mind wanders again and again I ask my self are you sure you know what your doing Megan
ReplyDeleteI look in mirror and I see my self in all my feminism beauty past the pain and suffering what I really and I know Its not a question if I can but hwy hell haven’t I done so Why does it take so long and why must others hurt when we finally learn whom we are My Gods I am so lucky to find a woman like Ali
she loves me for whom I am deep inside the real me
I tried to explain to my ex a few years back she shrugged it off like a joke and I had to stifle my self again submit further and bury my self again well I cant live this way no longer I know what I must do and dam it what’s wrong with becoming happy with my self I know the guilt trips all to well but its time for me to finally blossom Megan chooses to live!!
Please don't cry
ReplyDeleteOne tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance